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10 reasons most marriages fail in Nigeria

 

Under normal circumstances, no couple goes into a marriage with the intention of divorcing some years later.

But
some situations make most marriages unbearable warranting a separation.
It could be because of some unresolved issues or irreconcilable
differences but be that as it may, there is no divorce without a reason. see more cut…

1. Infidelity
Infidelity
or better put, adultery has been the top reason marriages break up. No
married couple likes the idea that his or her partner is sleeping with another person.
Infidelity leads to a lot of emotion like anger, betrayal, hurt, and pain and for most people, could even lead to death.
The knowledge that one’s wife or husband has a concubine outside the marriage can be devastating.
2. Domestic Violence
This is another top reason for divorce, especially where the partners turn themselves into punching bags.
In
this situation, the abuser does not respect his or her partner and
could lead to serious trouble in the home. And in this era of feminism
and equality, most women cannot take such lying low and for her to be
alive to look after her children, it is better for her to walk away.
3. Selfishness
A
partner who is selfish and always put his or her interest above the
other is courting trouble as the deprived partner may start to feel
unwanted and unloved.
When there are too
many needs that are neglected, the unloved spouse will end up feeling
ignored and used and this brings on a destructive form of manipulation,
control and jealousy.
4. Disrespect
A marriage that stands the test of time is often built on respect, acceptance, admiration, appreciation and emotional safety.

A
couple who wants to stay long and happy in their marriage needs to have a
mutual respect because disrespect brings about anger and frustration
which can escalate to impatience, labeling, criticism, and hurt.
A spouse who keeps ridiculing his or her partner is surely looking for trouble because that is a recipe for disaster.
5. Dishonesty
A
good marriage is also based on trust and respect for one another but
where lies and deceit is the other of the day, the trust is thrown out
of the window.
Marriage is a partnership
between two people who love each other and the two have to work together
to ensure that there is trust and total honesty.
6. Communication
For
a marriage to stand the test of time, there must be proper and adequate
communication between the couple as this will bring about a bonding
that cannot be broken.
But when there
exist too much of blame, conflict, and verbal attacks, one starts to
feel though he or she is living with an enemy instead of a best friend.



7. Leading separate lives
No
marriage can survive where the couple has separate lives and goals
instead of having a well-defined line that leads them to one goal.
When
couples don’t spend enough time together, the relationship will
ultimately suffer and there is likely to be an emotional connection.
8. Lack of intimacy
Many
couples, especially after living together for some years, tend to
believe they have had all the sexual intimacy they would ever want and
there is no need to get intimate regularly.
But that is a very wrong assumption as sex is one of the key pillars that keep a marriage together.
A
sexually starved husband or wife would ultimately want to get some
satisfaction outside, especially where the partner is denying them of
their rights.
However, intimacy is much more than sex
because spending quality time with a spouse is another way of them
getting connected in all its ramification.
 9. Pride and ego
Where a couple allows pride and ego to form part of his or her daily life, there is sure to be trouble looming on the horizon.
Some couple close their eyes to their faults and do not want to admit they are the problem in any setting.
Where
a wife earns more than the husband in most cases, pride is likely to
set in as she would want to equate herself to her husband as well
standing up to him instead of being humble and seeing him as the head of
the family.



Some
men too always wear the tag of being the boss and fail to appreciate
the wife whenever she does something and in such a situation, the poor
woman could feel dejected and alienated from her husband, leading to a
crisis in the home.

10. Allowing third parties in the affairs
Some
couple make the mistake of always inviting third parties into their
homes whenever they have problems instead of sitting down together and
resolving them
Most of them are so used
to telling people their problems not knowing that the more they let
others into their affairs, they end up opening their defenses to
outsiders who would be quick to pass judgment on them. 
Parents,
pastors, friends, in-laws and even neighbours are often invited to
solve common issues the couple could have solved by themselves and this
interference further, deepens the crisis instead of solving it.

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